An Ocean of Rage

12:24am: Holidays suck. I wonder when I should go to sleep. >.< I need a friend or two...someone to talk to...just because... = /

10:32pm: Sometimes I wonder about myself. Sometimes. Is it wrong for me to love music? I have so much music, yet there is so much more to be heard...I was looking around the My Groove portion of iTunes...I found a couple caches of old songs...good, 30s/40 type music...idk...I just stumbled across another one...'90s Club Hits...is it wrong for me to feel a slight bit excited?

11:07pm: So...here is how my typical day goes.

1730-Wake up/get online and look up random things.
1830-Shower/make sure clothes are ready for work.
1910-Walk my dog.
1925-Leave for work.
2010-Arrive at the armory to arm up and wait for everyone else.
2045-Head up to the base.
2130/2145-Arrive at the base.
~2200-Post out to where ever it is that I am posted.
~2200-~0600-Work. Consisting of walking around, standing around, watching/waiting for something to happen, check IDs, search vehicles...blah...
~0600-Assuming the day shift shows up for on time, I get relieved and wait for everyone else to be relieved.
0635-With any luck, everyone remembers to grab their gear/equipment and we start heading back from the base.
~0730-Arrive at the armory to disarm and go home.
~0800-Arrive back at home.
~0815-Walk my dog.
~0845-Get online for a bit, check emails,ms, fb, etc.
~0930-Attempt to sleep before having to wake up in 8 hrs, if I'm lucky.

I barely sleep when I get home. I usually can't because of the normal people around me, with day jobs are usually up, moving around, and doing what they do. I work with this schedule for four nights and then I have two nights off, followed by four more nights of this and then two nights off...

However. This weekend there is an air show at work. The air show goes from 09-1700. I have to be there by 0700 and I will probably leave there by 18/1830. Which means I have to be up by 0530 to get ready for work and leave here by 0620 at the latest in order to beat traffic to work. Then, I will be getting home around 1900-1930...awesome...

10:16am: Empty. A lack of a soul. Hollow. Barren. Bleh.

8:33am: After getting picked up this morning from my post, the patrol that was driving me back to the command post commented on how vain the driver in front of us has to be, due to the vanity plate he had. I took a look at the plate because I just had to see for myself. It was a license plate from Europe that read: MIKEOXMALL. I started laughing hysterically in the back of the car, both at the mistake my driver had made and for what the plate said. The other people in the vehicle asked me what was so funny, but for the sake of the driver, I lied and made up a story.

I love the people I work with.

8:27am: So is it right because I know it's right or is it wrong because I know it's right? I don't know that I know what I know is right any more.

12:32pm: Groundhog's Day
Waking up to a tent with the AC blasting, bodies moving in the darkness, the front door slamming, those same bodies tripping over gear that they don't see in the darkness...you step outside, into the blazing heat, for whatever reason you did, you don't know why, you just did damn it. It's only 9am, but it feels like it's in the mid to high 90s with an ungodly amount of humidity. You take to steps and are already drenched in sweat and completely miserable. You continue walking through the desert, through the FOB, to some unknown destination. The only thing you know for certain is that you're inside of some sort of moist oven, trudging along to some sort of location with your battle buddy, a rifle, and a reflective belt on because for some odd reason, even in the bright sunny day, people still get hit by vehicles. You finally reach your destination, only to find that the place is closed for the day due to Ramadan. You curse your luck and trudge through the endless stretch of desert back to your tent, only to cool down for a few hours before realizing that you're completely trapped and hopelessly helpless. There is nothing to do all day. You go to the chow hall, eat, come back to the tent and wait for chow time to come up again. Then you wait some more...sleep...do anything to entertain yourself, which, around here, happens to mainly be done through sleep. You wish for anything to happen. Anything but a sandstorm, which happens every night in between the hours of sunset to sunrise. You wander the FOB in search of something to do and more often than not, find nothing. You're stuck here for some odd days, not even in country yet, just waiting to get back into the war, to get your counter counting, yet you can't. You're stuck there to rot. Just like whatever it is that infests the air. Rotting and stinking it's way throughout the base and country. Rotting, flaming trash heaps perhaps?

7:46pm: So, for those of you I haven't told, I'm going back to Iraq. I found out today that I'm going to be part of the QRF (Quick Response Force)/doing convoys. I'll be at Camp Anaconda, which is a little north of Baghad. I go through 6 1/2 weeks of training starting in the middle of July and then going straight to the AOR. I'll be home from the 1st-11th. This time, it's supposed to be a full six month deployment, which should be nice. The only problem I have is that our leadership keeps telling us that we should expect to come back...alive...it's complicated...I'll explain it if you ask...

YOU'RE GONNA CARRY THAT WEIGHT

4:55am: Alright. So the last time I posted was on Christmas Day...damn...

I've gone to and come back from Iraq already. It sucked. I did detainee operations while I was there. I pretty much baby sat terrorists. They watched themselves, we just had to keep them in line and from killing each other. Simple enough. The day before we went from Kuwait to Iraq, our leadership decided to tell us that we were only going to be in country for about a month or two, the Colonel who was in charge of us over there decided that detainee ops was going to be taken over by the Army. So...we trained them for a bit and then left...I'm fairly disappointed being as how that was my first deployment and I wound up coming back waaaay early. I missed out on alot of good stuff, namely, money. I went home for about a week, and now I'm here in Nellis, just waiting for the next five or so months until I'm eligible to deploy all over again. Hopefully to someplace that will keep us there longer...Baghdad, hopefully. I'm searching for a car of some sort right now. I'll find something...eventually... = / That's about it I guess...nothing too exciting...typical...

YOU'RE GONNA CARRY THAT WEIGHT

1:55am: Back at home until the 7th or so...not too bad, I guess...lotsa family time, which wouldn't be too bad if I didn't have problems sleeping like I do now...I'm waiting to go back to work...around the 11th or so...then I go to Camp Bucca...doesn't that sound swell? I got through all the training they had at Fort Lewis, which wasn't too bad, just time consuming for now apparent reason...three hours to learn what? We spent a few days worth of training in rooms staring at Power Point slides...Yeah, you can never escape the damn things...worst of all, the Army made the slides...so alot of them were either out of order or didn't make sense at all...neh...I'm just glad it's all over and done with and IO can wait to go over...it shouldn't be too bad...working around detainees, what could possibly go wrong? Volunteer for a couple convoys...why not? It won't be too bad...right? Anywho, I'm at home and if you'r reading this, 2102629705...

SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...

8:23pm: Fort Lewis...not too bad...Washington is a state of constant dampness. Even when it isn't raining, the ground is still wet. The sun hardly ever comes out. I don't mind. I love the gloomy weather we have here. It's cold here, but it hasn't once snowed. I'm waiting though...Since I've been here, I've been slain by Power Point multiple times and that's not over with just yet...I have learned take down moves, which wasn't too bad...I've learned a few new pressure point spots and I have been sprayed in the face with Pepper Spray. Part of training, mind you. It has been interesting...tomorrow I get to fire my weapon and then I get to go through a three day class on IEDs...awesome...just waiting to get my ass out of here and back home...two more weeks...

6:58am: I leave for training next Sunday. Morning. Early. I am going to be in Washington from that day until sometime around December 20th. I then get to, supposedly, come home from 20DEC-8JAN for leave to spend the holidays with my family. I deploy, according to the time table given to me, 14JAN07. That's when we're expected to begin our journey out to the desert. So...if you want me to attempt to write to you, just get your address to me by then. Yeah...

10:43pm: Well. She broke it off. I feel like shit, but it had to be done...she was miserable...hopefully she's feeling better now...so I'm here...left to wander on as I always do...yay...neh...I smoked abt 3 cigs...I only smoke when I'm under stress that I just seem to find to be obscene. Completely and utterly obscene. I'm gonna be smoking alot in the desert...I can feel it already...nothing else to really report...just going through the motions again...I'm not going home this wknd like I was hoping too...damn...so now I'm going to try and get my family out here if I can...November9th-11th...that's when they have an Air Show out here...fun...unfortunately, I work that weekend...oh well, shit happens I guess...? neh....I'll figure it out later...I'm going to bed or something...

1:26am: What is the difference between love and insanity? I can't seem to find one. The one I love drives me insane...so much that I can barely go a few hours without her before I start to have problems with myself and my world starts to turn sideways...spin, tilt, lose its' balance...I don't believe I've ever had feelings this deep for someone...the very thought about the fact that I'm not with her right now makes my stomach churn and my body weak...I feel like I'm going to vomit, but I can't. I haven't eaten again. I just don't eat anything anymore, not since I started dating...her...yet, all the same, I love her and can't seem to find anything wrong with her...I know there are an infinite number of things wrong with me...for example, I'm an asshole. I'm constantly depressed. I don't know why I haven't ended my life yet, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight. hold on. I. Can't. Stand. The. Fact. That. I'm. Away. From. Her. Right. Now. My mind is racing. All of my thoughts are either about her or about suicide. Tell me that isn't healthy. I'll tell you, right to your face, that that is possibly the one thing that I would never have been able to guess in a million years. Someone, please help me. Please talk to me. I have very few friends in this world. Those who read this are some of the rarest and quite possibly my only ones here and now. 210-262-9705. Don't be afraid to call, just lend a helping hand...please...

12:03am: Why do I always do it? I'll be deeply wrapped up in someone...entirely wrapped up in them so much that I can't eat or sleep without having heard from them...even a slight hello would suffice. I've been awake for the past five days now. I haven't eaten in as long. I'm a caring and kind person, I really am. If I love someone enough, I'll actually take the time to know everything that they do, their habits and their preferences when it comes to certain things, no matter how small or trivial...yet...I always wind up pushing them away from me, pissing them off, completely and utterly to the point where they would just rather not see my face or even bare to hear my name. Why do I do it? Why do I let them get so damn close to me, let them see a side of me that only an extremely rare and select few get to see...only to push them away...I was so damn happy with this relationship I was in, but I pissed it away. I pissed her off. I had her so damn close to me...then I just pushed her away from me and totally splintered any and all hopes of ever being truly happy with her...splintered those hopes and dreams into bits and pieces...why...why do I do it, why do I have to be such a prick? Such an asshole...why can't I just be happy with my relationship. Happy that someone actually fucking loves me for who I am, for being around me and just enjoying my presence in general. What the fuck? I feel like jumping into a wood chipper. That would make me feel better. I just don't know where to find a damn wood chipper. Not at this time of night...it IS Vegas though, anything is possible...shoot me in the head, leave me for dead. I wish I could just end my suffering...I'm destined to drift along in this life of mine joyless. Happiness is just a figment of my imagination...pull the trigger, swipe the blade. Let it all flow out...so...freely...so...openly...easily...

EASY COME, EASY GO...

8:19am: So. I come home for a few days starting tomorrow. My Uncle's funeral is tomorrow. My great grandmother's, on my dad's side, funeral is on Saturday...I come back to Nellis Sunday night...awesome. I really wish it were simple R&R leave, but I'm attending two funerals...damn...I'm still trying to get deployed...either to Bucca or Baghdad...anywhere...I'm also trying to get orders to PCS...Osan...something like that...Lakenheath maybe...? I wish...I'm doomed to spend my eternity here in Area II...I don't sleep much anymore, I'm pretty sure I'm slipping into severe depression...haven't hurt myself...yet...still carrying my trusty M249...I've gotten so used to it, I don't want to let it go...I finally got my quals on the M4 back though..bleh...

I don't sleep like I used to. I can't lay down and pass out like I used to. Something is draining my energy...the changing season? I've lost track of time, it gets darker earlier now...I go to work and leave it with the sun being down...perpetual darkness...it's all I ever see now...

2:31am: Nothing interesting ever happens around here. Ever. As far as I know, my next opportunity for being deployed will come around this time next year...oh joy...neh...it's what I've been waiting for...I'm stuck with one weapon qualification...I only have qualification on the M249 SAW-Squad Automatic Weapon...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M249 <---That...nice, isn't it? so for pretty much this whole month, I get to carry that around...isn't that nice? My Flight Chief, basically my boss, was talking about ways to take over our work place on our last couple days of work...it's bad enough everybody at work thinks I'm insane, but when I added my own detailed observations about what my co-workers' actions would be, nobody said a word for at least a full minute...I'm a quiet person at work, I watch people and make note of their actions...their personalities...I know who I can and can't trust...I think I only trust two people at work and even then, I only trust one with my life...maybe...pretty shitty considering the fact that we all carry weapons and would have to defend each other if something went down...damn...I'm getting kinda tired of carrying a 17lb LMG around...but the firepower behind the damn thing kinda makes up for it...if only it shot 7.62,,, >.< I need some sleep...this is a basic flow of consciousness kind of post...delightful...I'll work on finding something more to put in the next one...Madden comes out on Tuesday...so does the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie...I get paid Wednesday...damn...I need a car... >.<

I plan on getting orders to Korea maybe in December or January...I go on a one year stint over there and then go to a base of my choice...probably Rammstein, in Germany...or maybe a base in Japan...idk yet...I'll see what the cards hold...

SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...

2:04pm: Wow, I haven't updated this in awhile...I've been in somewhat of a better mood...I've found somebody to talk to...unfortunately, I can only talk to her at work or if I by chance see her on base somewhere...at least I'm talking to someone though...people at work have pretty much come to accept me being around now...I've opened up more around people...my supervisor thinks that I'm on my way to being a troop that goes above and beyond...he says that I'm progressing at a much better rate than what was expected...he says that I'm a role model for the other troops and that I'm leading by example...no shit...something I never expected to hear...

My brother seems to be getting better...I never explained that situation, have I? My brother wanted to kill himself...along with this chick at school whom he is fanatically in love with...infatuated with...he thinks it's love, but she is just throwing him for a loop...she wanted to kill herself, which made my brother want to do the same thing...to be with her...they wanted to do it around my brother's birthday...it didn't fall through though...thankfully...however, I guess the two spent about four hours together around the end of school...at her house...the next day she told my brother that she had gotten pregnant...isn't that nice? He is going to summer school and I don't know if they are still around each other...I can only assume so... >.<

So, in chronological order...(roughly)
Jan-My dad starts having heart problems.
Feb-My Great Grandmother becomes ill.
Mar-My Great Grandmother passes away.
Apr-My cat dies/My Uncle becomes ill.
May-My brother writes a suicide note/My Uncle passes away/I get put up for a deployment.
Jun-My girlfriend goes to the doctor and receives news that she either has an infection or cancer.

So...ever since I arrived here at Nellis AFB, I have had nothing but bad luck come my way. All I can do is let it roll off my back and try not to think about it as much as possible...neh...shit happens...just keep on moving...people around me are getting deployed like crazy...I can't go anywhere until I have my 5-Level...which I should have maybe around my birthday...Vegas sucks unless you have a car or are old enough to truly enjoy the place...gambling and drinking...damn... >.< I should go now...I have to do laundry and try to memorize more of AFI 91-101/DoD Directive 5210.41M...if Sami is reading this, she is probably going insane from all of the ...s XD

SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...

5:29am: Happy Easter
I hate times like these. I wish I could sleep, but I can't do it even with calm music in the background. I wish I had someone to talk to at a time like this. In person, of course. If I had a car, I would just cruise around town...after all, it IS a reasonably good idea to do so...as long as I don't get distracted by the lights...damn...yet...here I am...alone in my room...up at this time of morning...wishing and dreaming of times that used to be or could be...high school was awesome...so stupidly easy, it's not even funny...if only I had realized it at the time...I could have gone through more schooling-which is what I should've done-but I find myself armed to the teeth, ready to defend my country instead...awesome... >.< after finding this, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside...

T.J. --
[noun]:

A beat poet working the streets

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

It makes me wish I could write poetry again...the military broke that part of me though...I don't have much of an ability to do it anymore...so now I'm stuck with memorizing rifle characteristics and weapon capabilities...500m for a point target, 600 for an area target...3600m overall, blah blah blah...air cooled, gas operated, magazine fed, light weight, semi-automatic, or three round burst firing modes, blah, blah, blah...

Here I am, stuck carrying a rifle,
guarding this, watching over that,
ready to die, at the drop of a hat,
which is just oh so very delightful...

No remorse, no regrets,
No time for revolving doors,
No force, no stress,
No time for the killing floors.

Sarsaparilla. I like rabbits.

I really should stop trying, none of that is any good...I should stick to what I do for a living...which is strapping nine pounds of explosives to me body and running around with a rifle in hand...Cool Hand Luke is such an awesome movie...

SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...

"What we've got here is a failure to communicate." - Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke

4:57am: As many of you don't know, I'm at home right now. I came home on Friday, right after work...seriously...I turned in my weapon, ammo, NVGs, and radio and got into a friend's truck and got dropped off at the airport...I don't go home until Thursday...today is the reason I came back home. My great grandmother died and they wanted me to be a paul bearer. So now I get to dress up in my full service dress uniform and carry a casket...yeah...I haven't seen any of my friends from high school...not since I got here... >.< It makes me wonder. What is the point of being here? What is the point of existence...I've often pondered this...what is it that stops me from loading a 40mm HEDP round into my M203 Grenade Launcher and going on a rampage? Or maybe leaving a small crater where I once was? What is it that stops me from charging a round and unloading all 210 rounds of hot lead on anything that comes in eye sight? Nothing. Not a damn thing. Our lives are so short, surely, there must be some sort of meaning to it. I often...wonder what it would have been like had I carried out what I had attempted...followed it through to the end...how different would people be? Those who knew me? Have I actually made an impact on anybody? Am I just wasting air? Am I just using up bandwidth? What. The. Fuck. I...I fail to see any meaning or point in existing. There are talks about sending people to Camp Bucca in the summer time. From what I can make of it, I won't be stateside for my birthday. Another birthday serving the country...which is fine, I guess...it's not a major one...so help me if they try to put me behind the wire on my 21st...heh...I wonder how much longer until I'll be knockin' on heaven's door...

SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...

...gotta knock a little harder

1:53am: I finally started working for the government the other night...I work from 1800-0700...yay...on a Panama Schedule, which isn't too bad, but at the same time isn't too good either...it's already messing with my head and I can't get the sleeping pattern down just yet... >.< so...if you're up late and you don't have anything better to do...just call me or something...please? = /

11:52pm: I'm pretty disappointed that the Bears didn't win. Oh well...Vegas is alright, it was interesting to walk down the strip and see all of the people who were already drunk at noon and pretty much laying out in the streets...I got a tattoo the other night...an Ace of Spades with flames in the background...it's on my MySpace and Facebook, so you can't miss it...It's on my upper right arm...yeah...going to San Diego this weekend...it could be fun... XD That's about all I have right now, I have to get my blues ready for FTAC...all I have are dirty ones though... >.<

SEE YOU SPACE COWBOYS

2:05am:

There...now you people who are concerned about me *coughlikeKatiethatsillygirlbutitsokayistilllovehercough* know that I'm still actually alive and haven't slipped into the aether just yet...I checked in with the 99SSS, Security Support Squadron, and as far as I know, I won't be deploying for anywhere unless I request to be or unless I get put on SFS-Security Forces Squadron. What's the difference? SFS is the base police...I am not the base police, I work in the WSA and am authorized to shoot on sight. Yeah...anyway...did you know that the compression rate for CPR is now 30:2? Thirty compressions to two breaths as opposed to five compressions and two breaths per set. Nice, huh? I have Physical Training in about four hours or so. I haven't been sleeping since I got here...yeah...I think I'm going to start playing racquetball at the gym...it looks hella fun and if I'm with a few friends, I doubt we're actually going to play the game the right way...I went with Miller and Florez to the gym and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...I found out I can bench 90, but with sweaty hands after awhile, you should put the weights up before they kind of slip out of your hands and nearly kill you...not that I might know...my left eye is slightly swollen. Hopefully I will get cable hooked up in my room by Friday. I'll just chill in my room and watch the superbowl here...alone...maybe...I AM in Vegas, I'm sure I can find some place to go and watch it...neh...I think my suite mate moved out, which would mean that either he got deployed or he got married and moved into Base Housing. If he got deployed, then he is lucky because the most recent deployment was sent to the CARIBBEAN...I want to request deployment to Baghdad, but the next deployment goes in August. More than likely it will be around my birthday...do you know what I did for my 18th birthday? Well...to recap it, more or less...:

I woke up and made my cot for the last time while out at the Warrior Week Training Area. I grabbed my last MRE out of my foot locker, which happened to be Jambalya for that particular day. I got out to the pad for morning chow...I didn't eat my MRE, I wasn't feeling hungry at the time. After everyone else finished up their meals, we broke off into our respective AEF Groups and awaited instructions. My AEF was put in the second group to go through the Warrior Week Culmination Course. I hadn't gotten any sleep the nights prior due to the little bitches in the tent that wouldn't pull their Guard shift. So I wound up working multiple nights in a row when they refused to. Anyway, as the first group went to the FTX Site, the second group wound up cleaning up the tents and latrines and random other facilities on the grounds. Around 1015 we were gathered around and we had to do our checks. Everyone had their MOPP 4 Gear on, lunch MREs on them, their Gas Mask, 1QT Canteen, and "Rubber Duckie"-a fake rubber M-16. We marched to the FTX Site and were dispersed according to the number that the tent leaders had been given/assigned/whatever. We crouched in sandbags, in MOPP 4 Gear, which is basically rubber boots, a pair of heavy pants and a heavy jacket, we had our Kevlar Helmets on, and we were supposed to be getting ready to engage the enemy forces that were supposed to be attempting to infiltrate the area. Everything was going fine, until Alarm Red was shouted, which meant that we had to adorn our gas masks within fifteen seconds or be exposed to tear gas, yet again. After that, we had to do a Fodd Walk...basically you check for any casualties/UXOs(UneXploded Ordnance) that might be in the area. The gas masks that we had were NOT at ALL the most top of the line items and quite a few of the screens had turned a nice, corn yellow. I had the great fortune of getting one of these masks and wound up being quite immobile due to the lack of vision. This didn't stop the instructors, however, and I had to go through with the exercise as usual. On the Fodd Walk, I managed to kill about 15 other trainees when I couldn't see the UXO that was hanging in the tree. After two more fodd walks and one more Alarm Red, we got to call it quits and we stood in the middle of the FTX Site. We took off all of our MOPP 4 Gear and trudged back to the bleachers where we sat to eat breakfast each morning. We finally got to eat our Lunch MREs at around 1300. MOPP 4 Gear, San Antonio, Texas in the middle of August. None of that is a good combination. I think the highlight of my day was my MRE that came with a chocolate shake. Mind you, all it was was chocolate powder and water, but it tasted damn good at the time.

That was how my 18th birthday started. I wound up on Dorm Guard that night as usual and I got very little to no sleep. I hated BMT...I realized how much I appreciate being around my family and it came to my attention that I would do anything for them. It pains me to be here at Nellis AFB without them here to talk to/see every once in awhile... = ( I need to try and sleep. I think I am done ranting here. If you ever decide that you want to come visit me, just give me a call and I'll see what I can arrange. You would probably be staying at the Nellis Inn, which is supposed to be somewhat nice...considering that the Officers from other countries that come here to train stay there...anywho, I'm going to sleep...I hope...

SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...

5:13am: It's been awhile since I've updated this...thing...well...I graduated out of Security Forces Training and I'm going to my First Duty Station on Sunday. Nellis, AFB in Las Vegas, NV. It's going to be interesting for the most part. From what I've been told, I'm going to be working in a Weapons Storage Area...WSA...watching nukes and stuff...You'd have to talk to me in person if you wanted to hear some stories from training...I cleared out houses, tactically deployed from humvees and two and a half ton trucks, I've bounded up hills (which totally sucked), I've lit a grasshopper on fire while in a DFP (funny, but stupid as hell), I've cuffed people, and all sorts of other stuff...I got my badge and beret so now I look all official and junk...now I gotta wait to go to the 99th SFS and figure out what I'm doing from there...I've been told that I work 12 hour shifts and I work two days on and I get two days off...so I'll have to figure out how to adjust to that...the shifts are supposed to switch off on the lucky seven... >.< neh...as long as I'm not on a flight line I think I will be alright...I've been home since the 20th and I've seen a few friends...I've been with my gf almost every day that I've been home...which is nice...my flight isn't until about 1900 on Sunday, so hopefully I get to be with her all day long there too... = / I don't think I want to go though...I love this song...Plush...heh...I should be asleep right now, idk wtf it is that's keeping me up right now though...damn...I don't know what to update this with...I feel like I'm lost and I have no particular place to go...I wish I could just sleep it all off...I've been trying and nothing has happened...might as well try again...it's already 2007. I can only wonder what this year has in store for me...August 18, 1988-2007...

SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...

7:13pm: Four day weekend, hua!

Time to get rested up and ready for the next week as it speeds towards me...these weeks feel like mere seconds...Monday when we go back to training we learn Urban Tactics...the fun stuff...busting through doors and clearing buildings...we get issued rifles and all sorts of fun weapons...and blanks...hooray for blanks...we finish up the field training here at Camp Bullis on the 8th of December and graduate on the 15th of December...I'll finally get to go back home in about a month...it will only be for about two weeks, but that would be long enough to see family...I don't put on a stripe until after Janurary 11th...I've been stuck in San Antonio Texas for the past four months...since July 11th...my training is almost done...I'll have earned a badge, a beret, and some amount of college credits for this...oh...and then I also wind up with Nellis AFB as my first duty station...this is bound to be fun...I miss my old friends...I miss my family...it's kinda nice to be out here on my own...but it's weird to know that at any given time, I'll be out in a field with these people around me...fighting for our country...giving up our lives for our country...